He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
