stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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