honey bunches of taint.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
