PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
