I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
