was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
