Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
