Your dad touched me again.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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