i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
