Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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