I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
