Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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