seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
