Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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