I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
