so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This is my gift to your gina
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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