We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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