11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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