Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I need water and some morals
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
