I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the day after is always just damage control
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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