Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
