I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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