her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
