I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
