Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
