Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
