So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
