Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
