curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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