Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
