wrigley field is MILF paradise
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
