You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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