I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
