Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
