Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
