Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Alive.
So much puke
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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