I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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