oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
