Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
