but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
