When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
