So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
