I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
