You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
50% drunk capacity currently
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
