Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
