I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
