We won't sleep together?
she was so not down for the gang bang
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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