the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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