id be glad to
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
