Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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